Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church, and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.  

They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground that read:

Da End is Near
Turn Yo Sef ‘Roun Now
Afore It Be Too Late!

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, “You religious nuts!”

From the curve they heard screeching tires, and a big splash…

Boudreaux turns to Thib and asks,

“Do ya tink maybe da sign should jussay………Bridge Out?”

A.A.A.D.D..

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.   

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills

back

on the table and take out the garbage first..

But then I think,

since I’m going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the

can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push the   Pepsi  aside

so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye–they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I’ll be looking for

the remote,

but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I’ll   water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn’t washed

the bills aren’t paid

there is a warm can of

Pepsi sitting on the counter

the flowers don’t have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can’t find the remote,

I can’t find my glasses,

and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,

and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I’ll try to get some help for it,

but first I’ll check my e-mail….

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don’t remember

who the heck I’ve sent it to.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

Dog Gone   (Click to view this video)

The woodpecker may have to go!

A man went into a pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy a pet. But, he didn’t want your ordinary, garden variety pet! No, he wanted a pet that could do everything!

The shop owner suggested a faithful dog.

The man replied, “Come on, a dog?”

The owner said, “How about a cat?”

The man replied, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!”

The shop owner thought for a minute, then said, “I’ve got it! A centipede!”

The man said, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.” So he got the centipede home and said to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.”

Thirty minutes later, he walked into the kitchen and… it was immaculate! All the dishes and silverware were washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He was absolutely amazed.

He then said to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes later, he walked into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; and the plants watered.

The man thought to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!”

Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.”

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later… no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later… no centipede.

By this point the man was wondering what was going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.

45 minutes later… still no centipede! He couldn’t imagine what had happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where was that centipede?

So he went to the front door, opened it … and there was the centipede sitting right outside.

The man said, “Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What happened?!”

The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just puttin’ on my shoes!”

http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Animals/The_Amazing_Pet.shtml

A Rare Book

collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther.”

Shot my first turkey yesterday. Scared everyone in the frozen food section… It was awesome !!!

At New York’s Kennedy airport today an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

The Attorney General believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed”, the Attorney General said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like “x” and “y”, and, although they are frequently referred to as “unknowns”, we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

“As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle.” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

http://www.jokesclean.com/

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, “OK, I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.” Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. “Whew,” says the leopard. “That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.” Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.” Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet … and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says………………

“Where’s that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard.”

http://www.jokesclean.com/

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information & wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our body. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated & happy.

Beginning today, when I look at myself in the mirror I will think, good grief look how smart I am, I must be a genius.

     There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, “Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?”

The missionary says, “Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say ‘Thank God’ to make it go and ‘Amen’ to make it stop.”

Not paying much attention, the man says, “Sure, ok.”

So he gets on the horse and says, “Thank God” and the horse starts walking. Then he says, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, “Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God” and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he’s doing everything he can to make the horse stop.

“Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!”

Finally he remembers, “Amen!!”

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, “Thank God.”

One day an elderly pastor confides in his parishioners that he’s feeling a bit lonely and depressed. So one of the parishioners suggests to the pastor that he buy a pet. Thinking this a grand idea, the pastor hurries into town and after much deliberation, buys a parrot.

Unfortunately not five minutes after arriving home, the parrot starts hurling a string of expletives at the pastor.

After about an hour it gets to be too much, so the pastor walks up to the parrot, slaps him on the beak, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the parrot madder and he starts swearing at the pastor in even more colorful language.

Finally the pastor has had it and says, “All right, that’s it. Grabbing a blanket, the pastor throws it over the parrot’s cage and screams, “Now, SHUT UP!” Well, this really irritates the parrot and he starts clawing and scratching at the bars of his cage. Finally the pastor removes the blanket. Immediately the parrot starts right in on the pastor again.

By this time, the pastor is so infuriated that he grabs the parrot by the throat and throws him into the freezer. Well, the parrot starts swearing and thrashing about so loudly that the pastor is considering killing the bird. Just as he’s thinking this, it gets very…very quiet.

At first the pastor just stares at the refrigerator, but then he starts to think that the parrot might be seriously injured. He becomes so worried that he runs over to the refrigerator and throws open the freezer door.

The parrot climbs out of the freezer, flaps the ice off his wings, and says, “Awfully sorry about the trouble I’ve caused you father. In the future, I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary.”

The pastor is astounded. He can’t believe the sudden transformation that has come over the parrot. Finally the parrot turns to the pastor and says, “Um….by the way, what did the chicken do?”

A sign was hung in an office window. It read:

Help wanted.
Must type 70 words a minute.
Must be computer literate.
Must be bilingual.
An equal opportunity employer.

A dog was ambling down the street and saw the sign. He looked at it for a moment, pulled it down with his mouth, and walked into the manager’s office, making it clear he wished to apply for the job.

The office manager laughed and said, “I can’t hire a dog for this job.”

The dog pointed to the line: “An equal opportunity employer.”

So the manager said, “OK, take this letter and type it.” The dog went off to the word processor and returned a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly formatted.

The manager said, “Alright, here’s a problem. Write a computer program for it and run it.”

Fifteen minutes later, the dog came back with the correct answer.

The manager still wasn’t convinced. “I still can’t hire you for this position. You’ve got to be bilingual.”

The dog looked up at the manager and said, “Meow.”

This page is NOT made to imply that gasoline is cheap;
it just illustrates how outrageously priced, all things have become….

Compared with Gasoline……

Think a gallon of gas is expensive

This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ………..$9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ….. $10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ………. $10.00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 …… $33.60 per gallon

Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35.. $178.13 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 . $123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ……. . $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 ……$84.48 per gallon

And the REAL KICKER is ….

Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don’t even know the source

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?

 So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at….
(you won’t believe it….but it is true…..)

$5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)

So, the next time you’re at the pump,be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump…

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her 2 nd grade class memorize Psalm 23, one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. She gave the children a month to learn the chapter.

One little boy was excited about the task, but he just couldn’t memorize the Psalm. Although he practiced and practiced, he could hardly get past the first line. The day came for the children to recite Psalm 23 before the congregation. The little boy was nervous. When his turn came, he stepped up to the microphone and proudly said, “The Lord is my Shepherd and that’s all I need to know!”

A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!”

“Why not?” asked his mother.

“I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.”

His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”

      There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, “Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door.”

      Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, “I want a shave!” The barber said, “Sure, just sit in the seat and I’ll be with you in a moment.”

The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, “God, the first customer came in and I’m going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen.”

      Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying “Good morning sir. I have a question for you… Are you ready to die?”

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can’t believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed!
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, Spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when He sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping–Love you!”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son..what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

“So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, And breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when She tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, lady, I’m married!”

Broken furniture – $85.26
Hot Breakfast – $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time………Priceless

A Christian couple wanted to get a family pet. They felt it important to own a Christian trained pet. So, they went pet searching. At a kennel specializing in Christian trained pets, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.

When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new dog and his major skills, that they called the dog over and had him show off his Bible fetching ability.

The friends were very impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well.

This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks. Well, they said, “let’s try this out.” Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!”

Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man’s forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother  that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named  Gladly.

It took his  mother a while before she realized that  the hymn was really “Gladly The Cross I’d Bear”.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was  tucking her small boy into bed. 

She was about to turn off the  light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,

“Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”  The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 

“I can’t  dear,”  she said.

“I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

 “The big sissy.”

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize: that he must first deal with the problem on “THIS” side of the road before it goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his “CURRENT” problems before adding “NEW” problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together – in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Letter from Camp

Dear Mom and Dad,

Our scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case
you saw the flood on TV and are worried.

We are OK.  Only one of our tents and
2 sleeping bags got washed away.

Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all
up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.

Oh, yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK.
He can’t write because of the cast.
I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps.

It was neat.  We never would have found him
in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Walt got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone
without telling anyone.  Chad said he did tell him, but
it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire,
the gas can will blow up?

The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did.
Also, some of our clothes.  David is going to look funny
until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Walt gets the
car fixed.  It wasn’t his fault about the wreck.
The brakes worked OK when we left.
Scoutmaster Walt said that with a car that old
you have to expect something to break down;
that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.
We think it’s a neat car.  He doesn’t care if we
get it dirty and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets
us ride on the fenders.

It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car.
He lets us take turns riding in the trailer until
the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Walt is a neat guy.  Don’t worry,
he is a good driver.  In fact, he is teaching Terry
how to drive on the mountain roads where there
isn’t any traffic.  All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all the guys were diving off the rocks and
swimming out in the lake.  Scoutmaster Walt wouldn’t let me
because I can’t swim and Chad was afraid he would sink
because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake.
It was great.  You can still see some of the trees
under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Walt isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters.
He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets.

He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are
trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what?  We have all passed our first aid merit badges.
When David dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see
how a tourniquet works.

Wade and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Walt said it probably
was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken.  He said they
got sick that way with food they ate in prison.  I’m so glad
he got out and became our scoutmaster.  He said he sure
figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.

I have to go now.  We are going to town to mail our
letters.  Don’t worry about anything.

We’re fine.

Love,
Cole

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.”

Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain’t too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.”

St. Peter continued, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God’s first name?”

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forrest replied, “Well, the first one — which two days in the week begins with the letter “T”? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.”

The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, “Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?” asked St. Peter.

“How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,” replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”

Astounded, St. Peter said, “Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”

Forrest replied, “Shucks, there’s got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd… “

“Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind….but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name”?

“Sure,” Forrest replied, “it’s Andy.”

“Andy?” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter.

“Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”

“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song, “ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.”

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: “Run Forrest, run.”

Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folk.

  This is one of the best jokes I’ve seen in awhile!

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT! I have had enough.

I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will   judge who does the better job.”

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

• They moused.
• They faxed.
• They e-mailed.
• They e-mailed with attachments.
• They downloaded.
• They did spreadsheets!
• They wrote reports.
• They created labels and cards.
• They created charts and graphs.
• They did some genealogy reports.
• They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly
 flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course,

the power went off.

 Satan stared at his blank screen  and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.  

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

“It’s gone! It’s all GONE!   “I lost everything when the power went out!”

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from
the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

“Wait!” he screamed. 

“That’s not fair!

He cheated!

How come he has all his work and I don’t have any?”

God just shrugged and said,

“JESUS  Saves.“