How dare you!

July 27, 2024 by YBP

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To lull me to sleep

With your razor blade words and saccharine tones

You trapped me in a box till my arms and legs outgrew that absurdly tiny space

That tension made me explode into fractions of the minutest pieces all over the place

It has been taking me years to find them and pick them up

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To rape me incessantly

Bleeding me to the core

Jeering and misleading me once more

Your wicked plans strapped close to your chest

As you imagine more ways of torturing me undetected

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To speak abominations

Of hollow empty promises

Dangling the shadow of hope in your hands

Deceiving me into oblivion

Giving me the drink of darkness in the soul

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To shame me in the court of the multitude

As you plant those seeds of doubt and discontent

In the secret fields of my solitude

Your weeds have been crowding my mind

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To pollute my well of purity

With evil intentions and belligerent energies

The silent waters that once ran deep have been stirred like a hornet’s nest

Stinging me with pain unbearable

I numbed myself in silence

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To parade me in my innocence

Before throngs of unrecognizable faces

Invading my space and bringing me to the guillotine

Avoiding my gaze and pleas for help

You fed me to the pack of wolves

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To snuff out all my brilliant ebullience

You extinguished the optimistic flame within

And turned it into the raging fires of rage

Yet trapped inside my inner world

Twisting every right to express myself

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To blind me to the true beauty of creation

Making me look at all the lack

By imposing the narratives of your turbulent past

Stealing my joy robbing my purest gratitude

Forcing entry into my world by hurling your ugly world into mine

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To mock me and hurl insults on my humanness

You made me fear your judgement and all the daggers that you threw my way

I kept running away from you to save my soul and yet I kept running back to you seeking your approval

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

A chemist of unbelievable proportions

Concocting decisive manipulation

In ways that hide beneath the sheets

The clues of neglect have been mixed with sugar and spice but nothing that was nice

Leaving so much distaste

Yet taking away all other options on the menu

I was left with nothing to eat but garbage

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To stunt my growth in every imperceptible way

Making me second guess myself

Casting a hurricane of disbelief

Tormenting me with the fear of failure and rejection

Addicted to the image of perfection

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To play me over and over again

An unwilling participant in your torturous game

Pressure on me to defend my inner child

Revelling in my anguish

Never putting an end to my cries

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

To goad me into the sunken levels of your bane existence

Frying my emotions and pulverizing my identity

Pushing me to monster-like tendencies

Stop projecting your vile nature unto me

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

Questioning my life

After trampling on me unnoticeably

In the silence of the crowd

You hid your lifetime abuse with all the gravel of your words

But your actions betrayed you

They revealed your abyss of pain and dysfunction

Till you could no longer live the layers of lies

As your manipulations chased you

How dare you!

Who do you think you are?

You are not me.

Do not fool yourself into thinking that we are one and the same.

Deal with your thoughts. Deal with your emotions. Deal with your choices. Deal with your lies. Deal with your manipulations. Deal with your cruelty. Deal with who you are and the path that you have chosen.

This is the healing end of all the abuse.

This is the end of the tale you tried to weave.

This is the end of the horror you tried to heap.

This is the end of the sick game you trapped me into playing.

This is the end of you wanting to be me.

This is the end of you stealing my identity.

This is the end.

I am finally free.
❤️

‘Honey, I love you in an abstract way’

By Jon Walker

This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other. (John 13:35 MSG)

True love is never in the abstract. ‘We’ll never carry out our mission of being witnesses to Christ from behind pulpits or within Bible studies. We’re commissioned to “go therefore” and fill the earth with the presence of Christ so others may “observe” what He commanded us — to love one another as He loves us (Matthew 28:19-20 NASB; John 13:34).

We are to take our unseen and eternal fellowship, our oneness with Him and each other, into the seen and temporal lives of others.

To “observe” something, it must be seen. As others observe us, watch us “being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, intent on one purpose; not merely looking out for our own personal interests, but also for each other’s interests (Philippians 2:3-4),” they will naturally wonder where such uncommon attitudes come from.

And we have opportunity to say, “This is the attitude that ‘is in Christ Jesus who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond servant, being made in the likeness of men’” (Philippians 2:5-7).

In a fallen and self-oriented world, both that attitude and practice are particularly uncommon and profoundly noticeable. The witness of the reality of Christ and His love through our authentic and loving relationships is a living testimony that the world must deal with. Jesus’ personal and sacrificial love creates a safe place, a refuge, an opportunity to “be” that every person needs.

This devotional is based on my book, Costly Grace: A Contemporary View of Bonhoeffer’s ‘The Cost of Discipleship’.

We now have free small group study guides posted for each chapter from Costly Grace. The study guides are available at http://www.gracecreates.com/free-stuff/.

‘Honey, I love you in an abstract way’ is a post from: GraceCreates Jon Walker is the author of Costly Grace: A Contemporary View of Bonhoeffer’s ‘The Cost of Discipleship’ and Growing with Purpose. He has served on staff at Saddleback Church and Purpose Driven Ministries and is currently the managing editor of Rick Warren’s Daily Devotionals and the Ministry Toolbox. Contact him at questions@gracecreates.com. This article is copyrighted 2011 by Jon Walker. Used by permission.

When Speculation Replaces Faith

By Jon Walker

That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crestfallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go. (Matthew 19:22 MSG)

Jesus demands we drop the distractions and become single-minded in our obedience to his commands. In the case of the rich young man, this pulls him away from the romantic fantasy that Christ’s commands are what Bonhoeffer calls a mere “opportunity for moral adventure, a thrilling way of life, but one which might easily be abandoned for another if occasion arose.”

The young man is pulled into the reality of costly grace, where our only hope to enter the kingdom of heaven lies in Jesus Christ, our Lord. Jesus won’t allow him to see eternal life as a distant dream; he insists the young man follow him into that life now. Jesus consistently said, “The kingdom of heaven is upon you.”

Discipleship, Bonhoeffer says, is not the completion of an old life, doing that one final thing you have to do to enter the kingdom, like the capstone of a long and distinguished career ushers you into retirement. Discipleship is about irrevocably leaving your present life behind and entering a new life where Jesus is the center of significance.

It is a life in which Jesus is the only significance.

Bonhoeffer says, “Here is the sum of the commandments—to live in fellowship with Christ.” Jesus must bring us to the place where we abandon anything that holds us to the old life, anything other than Jesus to which we are attached.

The attachments may be different for different people. For the rich young man, the attachment was to his wealth. What are the attachments you have that keep you part-time in your pursuit of Christ?

When Speculation Replaces Faith is a post from: GraceCreates Jon Walker is the author of Costly Grace: A Contemporary View of Bonhoeffer’s ‘The Cost of Discipleship’ and Growing with Purpose. He has served on staff at Saddleback Church and Purpose Driven Ministries and is currently the managing editor of Rick Warren’s Daily Devotionals and the Ministry Toolbox. Contact him at questions@gracecreates.com. This article is copyrighted 2011 by Jon Walker. Used by permission.

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Discipleship: Looking Back is Double-mindedness

August 2nd, 2011 → 2:00 am @ admin

By Jon Walker

Someone else said, “I will follow you, sir; but first let me go and say good-bye to my family.” Jesus said to him, “Anyone who starts to plow and then keeps looking back is of no use for the Kingdom of God.” Luke 9:61-62 (TEV)

“The trouble about this third would-be disciple is that at the very moment he expresses his willingness to follow, he ceases to want to follow at all. By making his offer on his own terms, he alters the whole position, for discipleship can tolerate no conditions which might come between Jesus and our obedience to him.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

When we follow Jesus, we cannot stipulate our own terms. Discipleship is not, Bonhoeffer notes, like a career we map out for ourselves: “I’ll do this for Jesus after I get the kids through school and build my retirement fund.” We cannot arrange things to suit ourselves; otherwise, Bonhoeffer says, we end up serving Jesus “in accordance with the standards of a rational ethic.”

This still leaves us in control, deciding our service on what makes sense. We may accomplish good things, but that doesn’t make us disciples of Jesus. Jesus says, “Anyone who starts to plow and then keeps looking back is of no use for the Kingdom of God” (Luke 9:61-62 TEV).

Looking back is double-mindedness. It makes us unstable and uncertain, and that’s the exact opposite of the focused following Jesus expects of us. It means there are moments in our relationship with Jesus when we say, ‘I’ll get back to you, Jesus, just as soon as I finish with my priorities.’ It is the creature putting the Creator on hold.

Jon Walker is the author of Costly Grace: A Contemporary View of Bonhoeffer’s ‘The Cost of Discipleship’ and Growing with Purpose. He has served on staff at Saddleback Church and Purpose Driven Ministries and is currently the managing editor of Rick Warren’s Daily Devotionals and the Ministry Toolbox. Contact him at questions@gracecreates.com. This article is copyrighted 2011 by Jon Walker. Used by permission.